If you were faced with Him in all His glory

What would you ask if you had just one question?


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IC contact: Sirenspull
- your calls are bad news
paterelohim
Uh, hi! This is Ca- I mean Chuck Shurley, just- Chuck, sorry. [Indistinct fumbling noises] Leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks?

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[Snort. Congrats, you broke through the lineface wall!]

Thanks. You're a pal.

Sometimes.

[Small grin.]

I don't handle grief well either.

[Rubbing his face with one hand.]

Most people don't, at first. 'Specially when the guy who broke your legs is trying to play the victim at you.

[Okay, there's some definite... twisting of how it happened in that right there. Or mostly just projection, since Chuck is 100% sure that Lucifer feels like the victim, and is making himself out to be to whoever will goddamn listen, and is probably princess-pissed that Chuck didn't sit down and listen to his feelings and bake him cookies.]

[Or feed him booze and pain pills like he did.]

If I say something you probably really don't want to hear, do you promise not to storm out?

[That is not fear you hear in his voice, Chuck, you must be mishearing.]

[.....Oh, awesome. Super. No, he's really pumped to hear whatever this is.]

That... depends. [Long-suffering sigh.] Would saying it be a dick move?

[He has a fear of abandonment, ok? A JUSTIFIED fear.]

Um.

[His mouth quirks, part amusement, part nervous laughter.]

I don't think so. But. Consider the source?

I...

...say it. Just don't hold my reaction against me. I'm pretty fragile right now.

As you pointed out. Few handle grief well. How many has he actually grieved?

Who... [His confused expression turns disbelieving, and almost offended.] Lucifer? I-

[Loss for words. It doesn't happen often, so take pictures.]

-At what point do you still have the right to rub your ~grief~ in other people's faces? When you've killed- killed a thousand? A million? Gunned for your own brothers?

That question it probably not best asked to someone like me.

[Someone with millions of bodies to his name, someone who helped slaughter his family.]

I'm not saying he should have been sobbing on your shoulder, Chuck.

You have more social skills than he does. You're not an obnoxious prick.

[Yes, this is the same guy who was doing the "but he only hurts me when he's mad" routine a few months ago. And who has and showed you video of Michael and Lucifer soused on Halloween.]

Because I like you enough to make the effort.

[Just. Throwing that out there.]

Dude. Lucifer showed up at the hospital to harass Gabriel the day Jinx went in.

[Do you not understand that he doesn't make an effort for anybody. And when he does it's still horrible.]

ROFL. This tag after he spent the night with Mags after Kevin died.

Gabriel told me. Slightly different version of things though.

Chuck. He's not nice. I know that. You don't have to convince me.

killing things, yes. and the sarcastic prayer. touching. B|

Don't tell me you actually think the angels are an unbiased source about him.

[Just. Stare.]

I don't get your point here. I mean... no offense, but I know him a lot better than you do.

Killing things kept him from going at SERO, tbh.

I don't think anyone is.

[S I G H]

I'm saying this: He trusted you enough to drink with you. Aslan he's fond of. He was grieving a friend and was an utter jackass about it apparently. I'm just wondering why you, since you know him a lot better than I do, weren't expecting that?

[Really, he's confused here.]

well yes. but that's the future from dis thread B|

A friend? Are you kidding?

[Now he's just pissed, and raising his voice enough for the cat to say fuck it, and leave.]

It's his fault Aslan's dead! This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for him! What right does he have, you know? Contrary to popular belief, I'm not contractually obligated to park my ass and listen to his shit all day.

I wasn't saying you were Chuck.

[By comparison Magneto's has only gotten softer, flatter. He's withdrawing being that's simply how he refuses to handle things.]

Yes, it's his fault. No, it wouldn't have happened. I'm well aware of what he did, as my face shows.

So you know he got Aslan killed because he couldn't pull his head out of his ass long enough to have one unselfish thought. Or, no- even just not have a selfish one.

Chuck I very nearly got a friend killed barely over seven months ago for that reason. We were both in the ICU for quite a while.

[Flatly.]

[That stops him in his tracks. It's always a little disturbing to remember exactly who Erik really is. One of the boogeymen of nerd-dom, someone he used to talk about with his friends during their X-Men phase, a specter of not-exactly-evil but never really a reality. In some ways he still isn't entirely real to Chuck: his friend Erik, the man Michael, seems at times so divorced from the concept of Magneto that even after all this time, he still forgets more often than not. Even if he never forgets the simple fact of who Erik is, he rarely remembers what it means.

It's a hard connection to make. Once upon a time, it was hard for him to connect the Devil as his son, too, but that phase passed quickly. Chuck doesn't want to let himself be jaded again.]


Do you learn? When you fuck up and shit hits the fan because of it, do you actually learn something?

[It's an honest question, because Lucifer doesn't. Ever.]

[He laughs, a soft, fractured sound, nerves and emotion swamping, and a stubborn, dig heels in and HOLD need to not crack for the weight of the question. ]

Sometimes. It's not always what most would want me to learn. And holding onto any strides I make in a different direction...it's a constant fight. It feels wrong. It's not, I am aware of that. But it feels like I'm ignoring every instinct I have. It's not my nature.

[Chuck nods; it's a decent answer. Self-aware and honest, and he can respect that.]

Well... what exactly do you think your nature is?

[It's an extremely rare thing, that self awareness. Normally he's blind to his own nature.]

Isn't that obvious? Chuck. It's not magnetism I play with, it's electromagnetism. One of the four fundimental forces that make everything be. Gravity sticks us to things - and I can use my powers to effect it. Weak nuclear force, strong nuclear force - at some point they and electromagnetism bleed into each other. Everything else? Guess what makes it be? Electromagnetism is the order to the choas in the universe.

This funidmental force of nature. And it's not a power I have. It's what I am.

[...And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why He didn't create humans with superpowers. It's even more why he taught the angels to control themselves so unhealthily. This kind of a-god-am-I from anybody, including Himself and other Gods, gives Chuck such screaming heebie-jeebies that He just sort of wants to hide in a blanket fort.]

Okay. [Trying not to use his talking-to-crazy voice, and succeeding very well at it, actually.] That's a superpower. It's a hell of a superpower, but it doesn't change what you are. You're still a person.

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