If you were faced with Him in all His glory

What would you ask if you had just one question?

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IC contact: Sirenspull
- your calls are bad news
Uh, hi! This is Ca- I mean Chuck Shurley, just- Chuck, sorry. [Indistinct fumbling noises] Leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks?

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Same's good. [an almost audible shrug] Back to work yet?

Are you kidding? I'm still in my cast. It'll be at least three or four weeks before I get it off. I don't know if Jinx wants a bartender in a wheelchair.

You make up with her yet?

Yeah. She, um, yelled at me for trying to find another job and offered me disability leave. So that's the hidden secret for making women happy.

What is? Getting the tar beat out of ya? Could've told you that myself.

Nah, making a deal with the Devil and then getting the tar beaten out of you.

Even better. How's... [so awkward] You know, everything otherwise.

Boring and generally stoned.

What're you up to?

It's daylight, innit. [That's a macho way of saying I'm playing with kittens.]

Jealous of the stoned part though. I take it the good doctors gave you some good drugs.

Oh, playing with the cat. Yeah, the doctors were pretty great to me. Something about rib fracture pain making people limit their movements? Apparently trying not to cough gives you consumption or something.

No. They're clear across the room. [Such lies]

..My ma had that, you know. Didn't know people got it anymore.

They don't.

...Uh, how old are you, again?

Buck fifty and some.


Don't worry, Gramps, you don't have to go anywhere. I'll come to you. Just put Matlock on.

Yeah yeah. You asked.

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